Years spent avoiding stares and looks
A lifetime spent dedicated to never being one of them
Hours spent thinking if he would ever come along
Praying that he didn’t
Years spent watching others break down and fall and get back up again as different people
With chocolate and ice cream and dripping mascara
A lifetime spent nervous as to how this all plays out
And then it happens
And then he came along
And he is everything
And we had only just met
And I find myself confused
And disgusted that I let this happen
And excited at the same time because finally–finally I could be one to find this joy
Except with this joy come more questions and thoughts of future togetherness.
I wish it all made sense. And yet, I’m glad that it doesn’t.