How did this happen?

Years spent avoiding stares and looks

A lifetime spent dedicated to never being one of them

Hours spent thinking if he would ever come along

Praying that he didn’t

Years spent watching others break down and fall and get back up again as different people

With chocolate and ice cream and dripping mascara

A lifetime spent nervous as to how this all plays out

 

And then it happens

And then he came along

And he is everything

And we had only just met

And I find myself confused

And longing

And disgusted that I let this happen

And excited at the same time because finally–finally I could be one to find this joy

Except with this joy come more questions and thoughts of future togetherness.

 

I wish it all made sense.          And yet, I’m glad that it doesn’t.

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